Why Did I Write About Santa?

6th January, 2012 - Posted by Arita Trahan - Post a Comment

Had you mentioned it to me prior to that moment, my writing a book about Santa would have seemed ridiculous. Then the moment arrived.

It was a typical “playing Santa” dilemma of which I was only a spectator. Norma was in such a dither when she got off the phone, concerned that her gift for her god-daughter would somehow spoil the Santa-believing that was so important to her parents. She had said she would get it for her, and now her mom had told her it was from Santa. Should she take her name off the gift? How could she save herself in the situation? It was my effort to sooth her that coaxed from me a story of my first parenting experience with Santa, one I had never told before. Norma had never heard anything like it.

When she suggested that I write it all down, Norma told me that what I had learned in the contrasting experience of my two generations of Santa play could be a valuable offering. Could it? The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to encourage parents who yearn for integrity in their parenting, to empower them to write and rewrite the stories they tell their children, and to trust their child’s innate ability to make-believe as the most magical of gifts. My story could bring “Santa” and “honesty” into the same event.

As I wrote with this intention, I was surprised to experience a cathartic healing of my own childhood memory. By the time I finished writing the book, the injury that had haunted me for decades was only a fading shadow, like something I had imagined or dreamed. Instead, I saw value in my childhood disillusionment and felt genuine gratitude for the entire experience. The pain at the beginning of the book was gone by the end. Rather than rewrite the beginning, I chose to expose my own vulnerability and the resultant evolution.

Though the book itself is in print, the ideas that prompted it are still developing and expanding. I like thinking of it as a portal through which those who read it can pass, finding themselves freer on the other side, equipped with new ideas and eager to create and execute their own.

Parenting is a learn-as-you-go experience. It certainly isn’t one-size-fits-all. It doesn’t replicate itself well, as parents discover with the arrival of their second child. Each moment, circumstance and relationship is unique and I believe best played-out with fresh and new ideas. Parenting keeps us constantly on our toes.

Parenting ourselves is the same. We shape and choose and allow and encourage ourselves. We tell ourselves stories that we tend to believe. Perhaps self-parenting is an ongoing part of our purpose in this life.

“Santa” serves as an archetype and cultural phenomenon that brings into focus what is important to us in our rituals, our celebrations and our roles as story-tellers and mentors. Santa is a current cultural mythology that skirts religion (or not) and affects us all whether we actively engage or passively avoid. Santa is a great place to enjoy self-examination and expansion.

Besides all that – I’m a fan.